lessons in life

This has been an interesting few weeks as of late.

This week has not been the high point in my life. I have been learning Squash during lunch breaks the last month. This week, in my eagerness to learn from multiple people's different styles and suggestions, I played too long and somehow hurt my back. Not the best timing since I am due to leave for India in a couple of weeks. I did manage to get my 50 Year Adventure web site up and running while resting with a heating pad on my back. I decided to use Host Monster to host my book web site. I also moved my Attentive 2 Design web site there also, since I can host as many domains as I want for a flat $5.95/month. I was already using it for another private NGO web site that I help maintain. That is the good news that happened while having a pain in my back.

Today I finished reading King of Bollywood: Shah Rukh Khan and the Seductive World of Indian Cinema by Anupama Chopra. My wife and I saw it in the reduced section at Barnes & Nobles a couple of weeks ago. The first chapter alone is worth buying the book as it explains what Bollywood is all about. It tells a story about how a man in rural Georgia won the lottery when he got to go up on stage with SRK when he came to Atlanta. What a great story!

A couple of weeks ago I attended a high school reunion in Virginia. My wife and I stayed with my sister, who we seldom get to see. We had a great time talking with her at night and on Sunday morning after the reunion on Saturday afternoon. I attended my 20th high school reunion but this one was the 31st and was much better. I really wanted to talk to as many people as I could since I had just finished my memoirs and the memories were still clear. Most of the people I attended school with from kindergarten to high school were present so I had fun catching up with them. My wife wanted to know why it seemed like everyone of them had been my girlfriend at one point in time - I guess that is life in rural Virginia! I found it interesting that my close friends from high school had little in common with me now, but I had a deep bond with those I grew up with in Churchville. It seemed like I had grown wild, changed a lot and then came back to where they had never left. Most of them were so dependable that I would trust my life in their hands. How that is what I call a true friend.

One of my childhood friends who lived behind me told me about the man who he bought sheep from to raise on his farm. He had only one leg and I cannot remember how he lost it. He had a huge sheep farm which he worked on himself. He was also quite wealthy and traveled all over the world hunting wild game. He had two large single story houses just to hold the mounted game he had killed. He never let his disability get in his way. My childhood friend looked to his two boys and said "Remember that the only limits we have are those we place on ourselves". What a great profound statement stated so eloquently from such a simple person who I am glad to still call a friend. Some days I think I try too hard and think too much and I greatly admire such a person very much.

Valentine's weekend

The last two days seemed like a long weekend, but in this case it was a good thing. At lunch time yesterday as I was talking to a friend I have known for almost 30 years, the mail woman rang the doorbell. I initially ignored her as I was on the phone and I thought someone else would get the door. Then she knock on the door leading to the garage in desperation. I walked out the front door and found her in the garage. She said I had to sign so she was determined to find me. She had the painting of the family as it arrived from India on Valentine's Day! I handed it to my wife and on opening it we noticed the painted was folded and had creases in it, which was the only thing wrong with it. Everyone had to make comments about it as they all saw the canvas laying on the floor. This morning I searched on the web to figure out how to re-stretch the oil painting to fix the creases. I found a useful video by artist Michael Bell which was on this wikiHow site. I found a couple of sites that sold canvas stretchers, which are really specialized pieces of wood. Then I found this site that explains how to make your own. My middle son and I followed these and now we have a stretched canvas, which is still creased, but at least it is mounted properly.



Yesterday afternoon my wife and I went to see Billu Barber for our anniversary entertainment. Since it had Shah Rukh Khan, we expected to be entertained. We have recently had no such things happening as we watched rental Indian movies. The new ones coming out are just not that good. This one on the other hand had us laughing like crazy near the middle and crying at the end only like King Khan can do. Plus it had a a couple of great points. Billu was very poor and felt ashamed to bother the famous movie star who was his childhood friend. Everyone else wanted to take advantage of them both. Billu's family had to decide if it really matter whether they met the famous movie star when they would always have their father. As usual I would much rather see a movie with a point than just be entertained. I feel like I did not waste my time every time we leave the Indian movie theater. I cannot say the same for other movies.

love & movies

In the past week we have watched two Indian movies. Last night we saw Rab ne bana di Jodi. I have been looking forward to seeing it since my birthday in the middle of November. On that day we were in the shop where we rent Indian movies for home viewing. The $1 rental fee for each movie has to be the best entertainment value of anything you can possibly do for that amount of money. On the end of the counter was a holographic poster for the movie was saw last night. It was advertising the soundtrack for the movie. I asked the owner if I could have it and of course he gave it to me, since we are friends. The next day I put the poster on my office door at work. I typically don't close my door as I want people to feel free to come in and see me at any time, but for the last month I have closed my door so everyone walking by could be amazed at my poster. If move your head slowly side to side you can see the actor and actress change from traditional dress to modern bollywood style clothes. I was wondering as we waited for the movie to begin if I would have to remove the poster from my door, which would have to happen if the movie was bad. We were not disappointed as the movie was great. That is why I love Indian movies as there is always a clear point and both love and GOD has to be mentioned. I have to add this movie to my favorite list near the top. The other thing I wish I had done over the last few years was to record all of my favorite quotes from the movies we had watched.

The movie we watched last week was Slum Dog Millionaire. It was about love as well but the movie was actually rated "R" because of some of the violent content that was not appropriate for children. For me this was about the "real" India and not the fairy tell world of Bollywood that sometimes illustrates the ideal that people can hold onto in order to escape from this "real" world. Plus I got to see Mumbai and India like I remember it. I like movies that show choices we all have to make and the results of those choices. Some choose a dark path and reap what they sow. Others want to choose the right path that actually helps people, but sometimes it is just too hard to do. Even though both of these movies had love as the foundation, they were very different in content. The best thing I like about watching Indian movies is that it makes me think about my life and what is important as well as talk to my wife about what love really means.

Rajastan

There is something that is alluring about Rajastan. I have driven through most of that state in northern India. On the surface it is just one big dry hot desert, which is very dusty. Even after 30 years I can still remember things about it as it is so unique in all of India. I recall driving through the villages and you could easily tell when you have left one and entered another. In one village all of the men would be wearing yellow turbans, in the next they would all be wearing bring red ones and in the next they would be wearing green. The buildings everywhere matched the drab yellow brown sand with few trees in sight, but then you would see the women wearing the most bright colored saris and the men with their colored turbans. An occasional camel would be seen pulling a two wheeled cart. Every now and then you would see an amazing castle on a rocky hill that is centuries old. The hills are nothing more than huge boulders. I have spent the night with friends in the pink city of Jaipur and the blue city of Jodhpur. Driven past the Jal Mahal outside Jaipur, the Mehrangarh Fort on the hill outside of Jodhpur and the Taj Lake Palace on a lake outside Udaipur. So many fascinating and enchanting places to see, so it is no wonder that foreign tourists want to go there.



That is not want I had originally intended to write about today, but the origin of my thoughts was a movie was saw last night called Nanhe Jaisalmer. I have been watching Indian movies since we lived in Saudi in the late '80s, where the local Qatar TV station showed the weekly Thursday night Indian movie. Since the weekend was Thursday and Friday, this was the equivalent on our Saturday night, so I stayed up late watching the movie which ended around midnight. Now we rent Indian movies at a local Indian store. In all of those years and the unknown number of movies I have seen, it still amazes me at now uplifting they are and a true learning experience for me. Of course it really helps that I have lived to see many of the places in India where they shoot the films, but still the culture is so fascinating to me that I learn something new about the culture with every movie I see. I enjoyed the music in "Nanhe" and there were so many wonderful one liners. Just a great family movie with a good story and wholesome point. Who can complain about that?

favorite Indian movies

This is the list of my wife and my favorite Indian movies that we have watched over the last couple of years. I still think watching Indian movies are the cheapest and best forms of entertainment on the planet today. We can rent these at the local Indian movie store for $1 each.

Taara Zameen Par
Vivah
Jodhaa Akbar
Bride and Prejudice
Black
Provoked
Eklavya
Guru
Bend it like Beckham
Chak ed India
Dor
Paheli
Veer Zaara
Iqbal
Lagaan
Pinjar
Hum Tumhara Hain Sanam
Swades
Dil se
Pardes
Hum Dil de Chuke Sanam
Fanaa
Dilwale Dulhania le Jayenge
Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham
Nanhe Jaisalmer
Rab ne bana di Jodi

A really good set of links on Indian movies can be found here: Highest Grossing Bollwood movies

food and family

It is almost impossible to get our whole family together at this stage in every one's lives, but for my wife's birthday we came close. Since my wife was born and grew up her whole life in South Korea, she really likes Asian food, so we went to P.F. Chang's. I had always heard that it was a very expensive Chinese restaurant, which it was, but the atmosphere was really great for such special occasions, plus I did not have to pay for the bill so it was even more special! My wife's parents, my wife's sister and a really good friend of theirs as well as our children were all present. My oldest son is currently a waiter at another lesser food establishment so he could appreciate the high cost which means high tips and even said he would like to work at a place this nice. This is the first event in the series of landmarks for this year and hopefully they will all be as nice as this one. The older you get, the more the events themselves are not the focal point, but who is present to share them with you and this is why this one was so special.

Speaking of my waiter son, he rode is the car with us and as we talked I realized how much he has become responsible in the last four months. Can I dare say matured? For me, the idea of becoming mature means taking the responsibility you have been given and using it wisely. I see in the American Heritage Dictionary they define maturity as "The state or quality of being fully grown or developed". I am not sure when I can say any of my kids are fully grown mentally, but he is definitely on the path to getting there. I think life should be about getting better with age and learning new things all along the way, so I guess I will never fully achieve this goal either, which is good. The other good thing about my son is that is he learning what he is not good at doing, which is just as important as knowing what you like to do. This for me also is maturing.

To end the day, our two youngest children huddled on the floor in our bedroom to watch a 2004 Bollywood movie called Bride & Prejudice with us. We had all four watched this together before and the kids liked the line "no life without wife" so they did not mind seeing it again. It was nice to have them watch it with us as who knows how many more times this will happen as it is not "cool" to watch Indian movies with your parents.

Bollywood Movies

Today was a monumental day as my wife and I went to an Indian movie at the local movie theater which shows Indian movies. I say that because sometimes you can actually see an Indian movie distributed in the USA at a regular movie theater but that is rare. It was fun for me as I remember watching an Indian movie on the TV every Thursday night when I worked in Saudi Arabia and that was definitely entertaining. We try to rent an Indian movie every week from Blockbuster on-line, but the really good ones are always on a long waiting list. The movie we saw today was called Guru. I don't want this to be a movie review, but this is the kind of Indian movie I want to watch. It makes you laugh, cry and want to dance all in 3 hours - amazing entertainment.