As we have experienced in our family - problems never go away if you ignore them. I read in the paper today that a local man was sentenced to six years in jail for child pornography. It reminded me of a web site I found when I discovered one of our teenage boys looking at pornography at our home:
http://xxxchurch.com
Here is a link to his story:
http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/2009/09/14/testimony-i-am-facing-8-years-in-prison-for-child-pornography
Here is the blog he is maintaining:
http://www.fromshame2grace.com
I really like the steps in this article:
http://porntopurity.wordpress.com/2009/10/13/are-you-a-step-away-from-child-pornography
1. His slide into pornography was gradual – Nothing happened overnight. David’s porn habit grew slowly over a period of many years.
2. His slide was progressive – It started with his father’s Penthouse, chatrooms then trading pictures. David’s behaviors got worse over time. It also took more to get his “fix”. And it took more and more of his time. The things that once seemed repulsive actually became exciting.
3. Many secrets were hidden - Porn grows in the dark, and feeds on a secretive life.
4. He was successful on the outside, yet decaying on the inside.
5. He is a regular guy, just like you and me, that slid in a horrible direction – This is the scary thing. Many of us have similar stories. We allow porn in our life thinking it’s not harmful. Thinking we can control it. All along, our lust is really controlling us.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Saturday, April 19, 2008
past ... present ... future
I constantly have this dilemma of living in the present moment and enjoying it for everything it is worth. Like last weekend my middle son wanted to throw Frisbee with me. We have a cheap $1 one from the local store which broke when he banged his knee with it on Friday. I bought the real version which we threw around most of Saturday and Sunday. He is such a natural with it and just enjoys be outside, which is not his normal behavior. I had to soak up each moment as you just never know with teenagers when it will happen again.
Then there is the past which just went by me. This blog is record of my past. Some days I think about things to write in my blog. Other days events just occur that I have to write about. When I think of the past, I want to learn from history or other people's mistakes. That is one of the reasons I like to write a blog so I don't forget lessons I have learned as I live them. I want my teenagers to learn from each other. When I got back from the county courthouse with my oldest son, I just had to yell out loud when I got in the house that no one should ever "drink and drive".
Then there is the future. I sure hope all of kids don't repeat the same mistakes their siblings made or else I will not make it. I feel old every time a major drama occurs in our family that I have to deal with these days. It seemed easier to take when I was younger. Now every time I feel older. I sure can hope for a bright future where the same mistakes are not repeated in our family. Maybe that is another reason I have read the books on drug and alcohol addictions. I have lived it once and I don't want to live it again, so I want to be better informed of the root problem. A quick fix does not work. If you ignore a problem it does not go away.
Then there is the past which just went by me. This blog is record of my past. Some days I think about things to write in my blog. Other days events just occur that I have to write about. When I think of the past, I want to learn from history or other people's mistakes. That is one of the reasons I like to write a blog so I don't forget lessons I have learned as I live them. I want my teenagers to learn from each other. When I got back from the county courthouse with my oldest son, I just had to yell out loud when I got in the house that no one should ever "drink and drive".
Then there is the future. I sure hope all of kids don't repeat the same mistakes their siblings made or else I will not make it. I feel old every time a major drama occurs in our family that I have to deal with these days. It seemed easier to take when I was younger. Now every time I feel older. I sure can hope for a bright future where the same mistakes are not repeated in our family. Maybe that is another reason I have read the books on drug and alcohol addictions. I have lived it once and I don't want to live it again, so I want to be better informed of the root problem. A quick fix does not work. If you ignore a problem it does not go away.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Real men can weep
My blog, which started out as a collection of web design problems and solutions as I encountered them, has turned into a discussion of Indian movies and the Hindi language. Having lived in India for two years, when I was but 20 years old, there is something that happened to me while I was there that I have not been able to remove since - I just love to be around the people of India and to learn more about the culture.
Last night was very interesting... My wife and I wanted to see a movie at the local Indian movie theater. I read the reviews in the local newspaper of the new Indian films currently showing and one of them sounded bad while other one had a certain appeal. A really good friend of mine once told me that he did not like movies that invoked your emotions as the director was manipulating you. I understand his view, but for me a movie has to stir up your emotions or make you contemplate life in order to be a good movie. There is no way I could watch so many Indian movies without this view, as I still believe the goal of an Indian movie is to make you cry, laugh, and dance, but not particularly in that order!
The movie we choose to see was Taare Zameen Par. I was really wondering what we had done as the opening credits were quite strange, but it all made perfect sense by the end of the movie. In summary, I have never ever wept as much as I did last night. I wanted to quickly leave the movie theater when the movie was over, in case I saw someone I knew and had to show them my red eyes! The movie was so emotional for me due to many reasons...
When I was in the first grade I had severe learning disabilities as I had dyslexia. My first grade teacher hated me and it was a mutual feeling. I would not sit still and I could not read, but I loved to draw - not a good combination when the whole goal of the class was to learn how to read. In the rural Virginia school I attended, they decided by the third grade whether you were in the smart class or dumb class and split you up. My mother was determined not to allow me to get into the dumb class as you basically never got out and by high school you were delegated to shop, woodworking and industrial classes. Looking back this seems so cruel and such a bad educational system. Anyway, for two years my mother tutored me and somehow using the local library as a resource learned how to help me get over my dyslexia. I actually only learned about this recently. Throughout my life, few things have come to me easily and I just overcame by working as hard as I could.
Our daughter had similar reading disabilities and had trouble reading until she got into the third grade. The schools now are much more forgiving and she was given special reading classes and taken out of her normal classroom every day for 1-2 hours of tutoring with teachers who specialized in disabilities. Now she loves to read and had the highest grade for reading in her last year of elementary. One of our boys has suffered thru his disabilities, but much later in his life. With the internet providing so much information, my wife has become an expert at helping him. I can just imagine what would become of them both 100 years ago, when ignorance on such issues ruled.
One more point... I have had many Indian friends over the last 25 years who have attended private Catholic schools in Indian as they are considered the best education you can get. Once you get to be college age, if you are the absolute best you can try to get into one of the 5 Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) universities as many of my friends were able to. One of them told me there were 25,000 applications for the 1000 freshmen allowed to attend. Just imagine how privileged you are when you graduate from these universities - truly the cream of he crop. What happens to everyone else who does not make it? It reminds of of professional sports in USA. There is an excellent book that documents just how hard it is to get into pro sports called Fair and Foul: Beyond the Myths and Paradoxes of Sport.
Back to the movie, I think so many factors came into play to cause such emotions to flow. Having lived the subject of the movie and having seen my kids live it as well along with having lived in India, it all came to life in this movie. When watching the movie, I thought I had been there before. In researching it this morning I found out that I had indeed been in the same location for a month when in Mahabaleshwar, Maharastra some 25 years ago. When watching the movie I saw a sign that said New Era High School and the town of Panchgani.
It all just leaves me speechless.
Last night was very interesting... My wife and I wanted to see a movie at the local Indian movie theater. I read the reviews in the local newspaper of the new Indian films currently showing and one of them sounded bad while other one had a certain appeal. A really good friend of mine once told me that he did not like movies that invoked your emotions as the director was manipulating you. I understand his view, but for me a movie has to stir up your emotions or make you contemplate life in order to be a good movie. There is no way I could watch so many Indian movies without this view, as I still believe the goal of an Indian movie is to make you cry, laugh, and dance, but not particularly in that order!
The movie we choose to see was Taare Zameen Par. I was really wondering what we had done as the opening credits were quite strange, but it all made perfect sense by the end of the movie. In summary, I have never ever wept as much as I did last night. I wanted to quickly leave the movie theater when the movie was over, in case I saw someone I knew and had to show them my red eyes! The movie was so emotional for me due to many reasons...
When I was in the first grade I had severe learning disabilities as I had dyslexia. My first grade teacher hated me and it was a mutual feeling. I would not sit still and I could not read, but I loved to draw - not a good combination when the whole goal of the class was to learn how to read. In the rural Virginia school I attended, they decided by the third grade whether you were in the smart class or dumb class and split you up. My mother was determined not to allow me to get into the dumb class as you basically never got out and by high school you were delegated to shop, woodworking and industrial classes. Looking back this seems so cruel and such a bad educational system. Anyway, for two years my mother tutored me and somehow using the local library as a resource learned how to help me get over my dyslexia. I actually only learned about this recently. Throughout my life, few things have come to me easily and I just overcame by working as hard as I could.
Our daughter had similar reading disabilities and had trouble reading until she got into the third grade. The schools now are much more forgiving and she was given special reading classes and taken out of her normal classroom every day for 1-2 hours of tutoring with teachers who specialized in disabilities. Now she loves to read and had the highest grade for reading in her last year of elementary. One of our boys has suffered thru his disabilities, but much later in his life. With the internet providing so much information, my wife has become an expert at helping him. I can just imagine what would become of them both 100 years ago, when ignorance on such issues ruled.
One more point... I have had many Indian friends over the last 25 years who have attended private Catholic schools in Indian as they are considered the best education you can get. Once you get to be college age, if you are the absolute best you can try to get into one of the 5 Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) universities as many of my friends were able to. One of them told me there were 25,000 applications for the 1000 freshmen allowed to attend. Just imagine how privileged you are when you graduate from these universities - truly the cream of he crop. What happens to everyone else who does not make it? It reminds of of professional sports in USA. There is an excellent book that documents just how hard it is to get into pro sports called Fair and Foul: Beyond the Myths and Paradoxes of Sport.
Back to the movie, I think so many factors came into play to cause such emotions to flow. Having lived the subject of the movie and having seen my kids live it as well along with having lived in India, it all came to life in this movie. When watching the movie, I thought I had been there before. In researching it this morning I found out that I had indeed been in the same location for a month when in Mahabaleshwar, Maharastra some 25 years ago. When watching the movie I saw a sign that said New Era High School and the town of Panchgani.
It all just leaves me speechless.
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