Jess' pencil drawings

Somehow all of the sudden our daughter got the drawing bug out of nowhere. Pretty amazing stuff for going from little miss crafts to a young budding artist.

Jess' school project art work

For Earth Science homework this week, my daughter had to make bumper stickers for the four major Geologic Eras. The following is the results:

Duke Sarcoma walk/run

This year I attended a Walk/Run for Sarcoma at Duke. I went with my friend David Ostiguy. In the same event last year, David was the special speaker and this is what he said as he gave me his speech afterwards:



Six years ago, I was diagnosed with alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma in my right hand.  My wife and I were 26 years old and we had only been married for 11 months.  We were cancer virgins.  From the instant we were told I had cancer, I remember feeling absolutely numb.  It was not until my first chemotherapy treatment that I started to feel again.  While walking the halls of Duke University Hospital during that treatment, I remember feeling pretty good and thinking to myself maybe 10 months of chemo would not be so bad and we would soon be able to put this cancer thing behind us in no time.  Boy, was I wrong! Soon afterwards, I was back in my hospital room throwing up in front of my wife for the first time, and it would not be the last.

Fast forward six years to today, through appointments, scans, recurrences, second opinions, surgeries, amputations, chemo, radiation, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, infections, fevers, hair loss, transfusions, medications, joy, laughter, sadness, anger, frustration, tears, prayers, birthdays, anniversaries, births, deaths, and the love and support from family, friends, co-workers, doctors and nurses, I would do it all over again if given the choice.  

I have learned that I have the strength, resolve, and patience to survive one of the more serious and adverse situations one can face in life.  Secondly, I have learned compassion and that being able to help others through their own adversities is so worthwhile.  Finally, I have learned that sarcoma and I share a common trait: we both know no limits.

what is a friend

It has been a very long time since I wrote anything but I think it is time to start again. Yesterday I spoke at one of my best friend's memorial service, who died just one week ago. I wanted to include what I said:



This is going to be quite difficult for me to do but I need to do it as an honor to a true friend and for his wife Leilani. I must read this script to try to maintain my composure so I can finish it all. I would like to start and end with two Bible verses that sum up how I feel.

Proverbs 18:24
MSG - Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family.
TNIV - One who had unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

I first met David ten years ago at work but did not know him personally. Almost four years ago our paths crossed again. I used to run at lunch for a work break and on my way thru the cafeteria I would see David and Bryan Hendricks eating - most times with other people from their team. Occasionally I would stop by to talk to Bryan and as time went along I started sitting down with them both to talk and watch them eat while I tried to cool down. Bryan used to be my boss at the same company where I met David so we all had a history together which was the original connection. Over many months of talking over lunch I got to know David better. At first I felt sorry for him but I soon realized he did not need my sympathy. I found out that he too was a runner and that was our second connection. Over time I came to understand that he could do more with one arm than some people do with both. At lunch we talked about football, music, biking, running and just about everything but work. After a year of talking over occasional lunches the three of us became good friends who could talk about anything together except we avoided talking about cancer related subjects. I will always remember the day he got back to work after his last amputation as he was the same David after the whole ordeal and we continued laughing and have a great time during our lunch conversations. He never wanted to draw attention to himself and his own problems.

Around three years ago I was contemplating switching groups to work on something completely different and more interesting. David and I came up with a brilliant idea to work together and tried to find a group that needed us both. We did the same kind of work and both needed a new challenge and we knew together we could do anything. After switching, the first year was great as we daily bounced ideas off each other as we learned together. Several times a day we went into each other's office to share in our new discoveries. We constantly sent messages to each other about new things we learned. Up to this point after being around David for two years, I learned that building a friendship takes time and a willingness to share anything and everything that is going on in each other’s lives. In many ways David was like another son to me but in most ways just a friend who I always looked forward to talking to. I especially liked Monday mornings as that was the time we caught up on what had happened during the weekend to each other. Some people dread Mondays but for me it was time to catch up on what David had done and tell him what had happened around our house. Somewhere along the line we crossed over and started talking about sarcoma as I wanted to learn more about it since I was clearly very ignorant on that subject. Many of the terms were impossible for me to say or remember no matter how many times David told me about it. That is when our close friendship began.

These are the things I remember about David:

The day he received his special prosthetic arm so he could ride his bike again
The day he got back from Atlanta where he met tons of people who had also lost limbs as he was so excited to see so many people like him
The day he decided to take a cross country driving trip with a friend he met at Duke
The day I learned his brother was in the military like my son
The day he bought an iPhone
The day at lunch when he explained to me how icing in hockey works using the Hurricanes as an illustration
The day he got back after seeing Rush with his life long NY friends
The day he told me that my kids should listen to Rush as they did not do drugs and were not alcoholics like most bands did
The day he decided to quit wearing his prosthetic arm to work as it was very freeing for him
The day he got back and told me about his speech at his first Duke Sarcoma event
The many times he told me of the amazingly great people he had met because of sarcoma most of which were those who took loving care of him at Duke
The day when we talked about our separate trips to Stone Mountain and how we both thought it was such a great place
The day he told me that I needed to take my family to Letchworth State Park in NY as he had great memories of camping there as a kid
The day just one year ago when he told me he had to quit running because of his back
The day shortly after that when he had trouble leaving the cafeteria and I drove him in the TTA van
That same day when I got to drive his car as one of the privileged few but unfortunately I was driving him to Duke
That same day at Duke when in unbelievable pain telling me not to mind if he said something bad
The day when we walked together at my first Duke Sarcoma event
The day he got back from attending Bonnaroo and was so tired but told me every detail about the fun he had with his friends
The day we looked up the drug Fentanyl and read about it together
The day when we talked about the stages of jaundice together
The same day when I told him he looked yellow and he got upset at me
The day I talked to him after he and Leilani returned from Grove Park Inn as he loved the mountains
The day he told me he was ready to go to heaven as he was tired
Every minute of the last two visits when Bryan and I saw him at home

In the time I was around David I only heard him complain a couple of times, which is really unbelievable considering everything he and Leilani endured together. What started out as small talk in passing, developed into a relationship of sharing in life's ups and downs. I would do it all over again even knowing the ending. One of the last things I remember David telling me was that some people had told him that he was an inspiration to them and that he hoped that was somehow true. One of the most unusual experiences of my life was to see David at work for the last three weeks before he left. He came every day as to not let down the team and to try to finish what he was working on. He repeatedly apologized to me as I had to take over what he was working on and finish it. That was just a short four weeks ago. Today is sad for me as I realize I have lost a friend who I will not see again on this earth but I long for the day when I will see him completely well in heaven. I want to end with the words of Jesus, which in no way apply fully to me, but sums up what love is really about.

John 15:12-14
This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you.
The is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends.
You are my friends when you do the things I command you.

creative inspiration

Someone posted these two web sites today:

1) http://www.smashingmagazine.com/2009/11/24/69-sexy-portfolio-designs-to-inspire-you/

2) http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/creative-designer-resume-curriculum-vitae/

After looking at most of the web sites, I like these the best:

http://www.floridaflourish.com
http://www.atomiccartoons.com
http://www.fat-man-collective.com
http://bluepixel.net
http://bluepixel.net/whatwedo/

These resumes are a work of art and should cost money to have them in your hands:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/paumorgan/4028700199/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/17687233@N03/3587644769/
http://itudor.deviantart.com/art/CV-Tudor-Deleanu-109339727
http://verine.deviantart.com/art/CV-133232646
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bulooji/3048285702/
http://heeeeman.deviantart.com/art/Personal-Resume-draft-137853267
http://dizzia.deviantart.com/art/Curriculum-Vitae-PDF-69050981
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7372907@N07/3191558047/

This is probably the best resume I will ever see:

http://theportfolio.ofmichaelanderson.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/resume-infographic.jpg

mughals

I just finished reading my 4th William Dalrymple book called "White Mughals". It was on a side of India I had never heard of before. It was like reading the background behind every Bollywood movie we had seen in the last few years. Now I understand where they all came from - the 18th century Indian lives of the wild and crazy British age. There were some pretty wild characters he found in doing his research for this book. I especially like one of the photos in his book of a Scottish man who had a salwar kameez made out of tartan material and even had a turban made of the same cloth. Such interesting British people who mixed with the native people of India. Most of them feel in love for the Mughal woman and some even had harems. Some dressed like the Mughal royalty they interacted with. This quote sums up the whole book on page 7:

India has always had a strange way with her conquerors. In defeat, she beckons them in, then slowly seduces and transforms them

On page 366 is the summary of the Mughal woman covered in the whole book:

Those are the final words we hear of Khair un-Nissa, the Most Excellent of Women, beloved wife of James Achilles Kirkpatrick, and Henry Russel's rejected lover. She had lived the saddest of lives. At a time, and in a society, when women had few options and choices, and little control over their lives. Khair had defied convention, threatened suicide and risked everything to be with the man she had eventually succeeded in marrying, even though he was from a different culture, a different race, and, initially, from a different religion. He love affair had torn her family apart and brought her, her mother, her grandmother and her husband to the brink of destruction. Then, just when it seemed that she had, against all odds, finally succeeded in realising her dream, both her husband and her children were taken from her, for ever, and in her widowhood she was first disgraced, then banished, and finally rejected. When she died - this fiery, passionate, beautiful woman - it was so much from a broken heart, from neglect, and sorrow, as from any apparent physical cause.

snowy winter

So far this winter we have had two snows in the last two weeks. The first one was really a layer of ice with some snow on top followed by more ice. Not a very nice snow for playing in or making snow men. On Friday night it was a perfect snow. Yesterday morning my wife and daughter were the first to go outside and tried to make a snow man. Then Jake and I went out to finish off the job. We rolled what we thought were huge balls of snow by packing them by hand. Jake went into the front yard and created a heavy duty ice ball. He needed help in lifting it and moving it across the driveway to make it even larger. I then heard a cry for help only to find him exhausted leaning on the snow ball on the side of the house. I rolled it the rest of the way into the back yard and that ice ball became the base for our snowman. While he was working on his ice ball, I had made threes large balls made mostly of compacted snow. It took us a while to made them flat on top so we could stack them on each other. We packed icy snow around the gaps where the snow balls met. My daughter objected to us using four snow balls and also the size of them. We added a stick for one arm and I took a photo to send to my one armed friend as a tribute snowman to him. As soon as we came inside glowing over our handiwork, my daughter and Andrew took over on what we thought was a finished product. We spent over an hour on our snowman. Two hours later they were finished with the amazing Fuquay Varina snowman. This morning as I wrote this blog I saw a bright smiling face looking at me through the window. I had to asked about the buttons and the nose, to which Andrew told me the red nose was a lawn croquet ball and the three black buttons are actually office chair coasters he found in the garage!

Stones into Schools

I just finished reading Stones into Schools by Greg Mortenson, who is also the author of the wildly popular book Three Cups of Tea. Here are some memorable quotes from this book that I really like:

pg 13
If you teach a boy, you educate an individual; but if you teach a girl, you educate a community.

pg 17
The first cup of tea you share with us, you are a stranger. The second cup, you are a friend. But with the third cup, you become family - and for our families we are willing to do anything, even die.

pg 19
Anything truly important is worth doing very, very slowly.

pg 36
When ordinary human beings perform extraordinary acts of generosity, endurance, or compassion, we are all made richer by their example

pg 191
When you take the time to actually listen, with humility, to what people have to say, it's amazing what you can learn. Especially if the people who are doing the talking also happen to be children.

He has also publisher an image gallery that is very interesting and a full report on the research for this book which also includes more photos.

week of books

I did not really know what the week would hold when I started my Christmas week off from work.

These are the books I read this week:

The Measure of a Man by Sidney Poitier
The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Leo Tolstoy
Lipika by Rabindranath Tagore
The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks

I have already commented on the first two in previous blog posts so I will not speak of them again. I was actually rereading both the Leo Tolstoy and Rabindranath Tagore books since they are my two favorite authors of all time. It is also interesting that they actually knew each other. I have heard about Nicholas Sparks as he lives near us in the eastern part of NC and I have watched a couple of movies based on his novels which were very nice. I read his book today from start to finish and found it very interesting reading and I would like to read more of his books. His book was very easy to read and entertaining, but cannot compare with Tolstoy and Tagore who both have amazing talents to transport me into the story's scene with their wonderful way with words. My goal for the year is to read one of Tolstoy's major novels, either War and Peace or Anne Karina.

These are excerpts from Rabindranath Tagore's Lipika that I really liked:

pg 3 "a cloudy day"

Man has crossed the seas, he has climbed the mountains, he has snatched precious rubies and pearls delving into the palaces of the oceans, but what is innermost in man's heart nan has never been able to settle up with another to its finality

pg 20 "just a glance"

The power of the king, the wealth of the rich are built up on this earth to die. But it is not a single drop of nectar in one's tears which will make that moment's glance live through eternity.

pg 30 "the story-telling"

God has created man in the world of associations, therefore, he is not made of valid facts or of theories. In spite of all the best intentions no well-wisher has yet been able to lure man's mind away from this reality. Even though in desperation he tries to bring about a treaty between his moral teaching and fairy-tales, but fails to harmonize them owing to their innate antipathy. So that the stories come to an abrupt end, the moral teaching also loses its grip , and there is the accumulated rubbish.

pg 88 "the aspiration"

The Madhavi creeper with its rustling dry leaves becomes all joyous at the first touch of the south wind in spring time. Likewise the wind from a garden of paradise came to sweep over a girl who gathered twigs and a gradual awakening of an exquisite wistfulness made her whole being vibrate with a throbbing ache. All her thoughts began to wander about like bees straying from their hives, having sensed some unknown honey flavors.

pg 104 "the life and mind"

The waves of the sea are the surface layer of the sea. By raising a din they confuse the facts of the sea's deep-trodden base where lies the earth's great womb. When the waves quieten down, in that unbroken harmony between what is seen and what is not seen, what is deep-bottom and what is the top facade, the sea reigns in supreme composure.

In the same way the minute I returned from the outward efforts of my life, I found stability in the heart's inner most depth which is the primary playground of the universe.

pg 111 "the life and mind"

The tune of life sketches from one key-note to another claiming such a pitch that one does not know where its limit is to be.